What value are relationships?
Relationships matter. They are key to our success and provide us with infinite opportunities to connect, contribute, gain knowledge, benefit from support and achieve our goals. Like Yin and Yang, the Taoism symbol of two halves coming together, we need to view relationships as an interaction and exchange based on two way communication and mutuality.
Whether for reasons business or personal, our relationships form based on shared interests, needs, or situations we can find ourselves in. Many relationships last a lifetime; others are interim and change along with our needs over time.
Think of the various connections you have made throughout your life thus far. Think broadly. Think back to your childhood, your education, your extra-curricular activities, your tertiary studies, your part time employment, your travels, your interests and more. You have created networks you may not even be fully aware of in terms of their significance. Perhaps you could now reflect on how important they have been in shaping your experience of family, friendship, community, and business life? Perhaps they filled a particular need at a particular time and have developed into long term relationships.
Recognising how you benefit when you create relationships and networks is of value. If we so desire, each one of us has the capacity to continually expand our relationships and opportunities through our interactions with others, whether family, friends, community, workplace groups or colleagues.
TECHNOLOGY: AGENT OR SABOTEUR
Before we start looking more closely at network relationships, I want to discuss the role of online technologies in our lives. Many platforms such as LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram help us interact with our friends and families and build new connections. The internet has extended our reach by making it possible to communicate with anyone, anytime, anywhere.
I take advantage of this whenever we travel. We travelled to South America last year and I posted quite a few holiday snaps on social media. I thought I would share the stories behind the photos when I returned but was disappointed to find posting the pictures during our travels had an unexpected effect. Our family and friends felt they already knew everything they wanted to know about our trip so I didn’t get to share some of the stories that were the heart of the matter for me.
I know travel stories can be more exciting for the traveller than the person who stayed at home, but my experience highlights the pitfalls of relying on the online space for ‘news’. Details, moments, stories and experiences can be overlooked and a false sense of reality often hides the truth.
Many people now shy away from real life interaction, yet, think about it—seventy five percent of communication is through our body language and expression. There is no body language in a keyboard! Technology is a wonderful aid to communication. Many people have friends and family in distant places and technologies such as Zoom and Skype allow them to stay closely connected. But, when online interaction is used as a substitute for direct contact, it robs us of opportunities for real connection and becomes a saboteur. Our online interactions need to support face-to-face conversations—not replace them. Whenever possible, we need to consciously find ways to blend the two and engage with people in person. If we rely purely on the online space we miss the opportunity to truly connect.
NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Do you regularly nurture your relationships by spending time with the people you know? I urge you to take time to have conversations in real time. The social media illusion of reality and connection applies just as much to everyday activity as it does to travel. Life is not perfect for anyone. I value time with my friends and family. I especially enjoy a weekend away together or even a dinner catch up, for me spending quality time together is very important. Have heard of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages? Look them up and see if you can identify yours.
In many cultures, sharing a meal is one of the most traditional and important customs. For my family, celebrations such as birthdays and Christmas focus on a meal. We have one group of friends we have been catching up with on the second Saturday of December for over twenty eight years! We may not see each other throughout the year, but we all have that date firmly fixed in our diaries … year in, year out.
YTM PROGRESSIVE DINNERS
Each year I run dinner events for my business Your Time Matters (YTM). The value of this event format provides : -
An opportunity to eat and enjoy relaxed, but meaningful conversation with like minded “matched’ business people
Introductions to other guests with whom you have common interests
Structured conversations using special YTM Conversation Card decks help you to give and receive value
Opportunities for casual conversation with like-minded people as you enjoy a 2 course meal and rotate between two tables so that you benefit from time building on new and existing relationships.
If this sounds like something you would like to try, please check out our events calendar HERE to see when the next event is, because, I guarantee, that it will be an event unlike any other and will help you to clarify the value of relationships in building your business.